just a jumble

So i realize that last post, my first post, is a wee bit crazy. i've just had so many thoughts in my head over these past few weeks i can't get them all together. God is doing alot with me right now, and i'm changing the way i think and act (at least i hope) in order to more better represent Jesus to this world. There are hundreds of phrases throughout hundreds of verses in Scripture that give example as to what our behavior should look like. 


One i've really taken to is James 1:19 - Know this my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak and sow to anger. i usually take the opposite route of those three listed. i don't truly listen to people, i talk whenever a thought hits me and while i'm not an angry person, things can make me angry real fast. Recently though, i've been trying, and many times doing it without realizing, that as i seek God, these things just happen. i spend more time listening than talking, especially in deeper conversations. i truly think that this is only because of God, and not me trying hard. when i try, i fail. When i let God do - He will succeed for His glory. 


In other news, i have been giving the opportunity to serve the Lord over my spring break in Guatemala (or Guatie as we have taken to calling it.) i'm super duper pumped about this, but also really nervous. i was thinking about it though, even if i was nervous, or even at sometimes didn't want to go - i would have to. god has told me to go, called me. for that week in march, this will be my end of the earth. and because Christ has called me, there is nothing else i should do but go. granted, there are other things i could do, but look where that got Jonah. (i would much prefer 7 days in Guatie to time in a big fish. ugh). but i digress. When God calls you to go, there is nothing else you can do but go - that will be the only place that any person can be in God's will. 


so again, this is still just a jumble of thoughts. but i'll get better. or not. because i'm a failure. He's not.