"i'm the creation, You're the Creator, i am imperfect, You're the Redeemer, i'm filled with questions, You are the Answer, i am a sinner, You are my Savior. You are the One for me. and i belong to You. for the record i'm a full-time failure, You know me better than i know myself." -Mandi Mapes, "You're the one for me"

Friday, June 24, 2011

I love blogs

I love blogs. and blogging. I read way too many of varying themes (too many probably aimed at mothers, not 20 year old college students) and sometimes feel like a borderline stalker with a few of the blogs I read. But apart from the amazing blogs out there, I really have enjoyed the sense of not only togetherness that bloggers seem to feel, but the realness that permeates most of these blogs. It reminds me so much of what the body of Christ should look like. Women (and I'm sure men, I just don't read those) everyday are sharing some of their hardest struggles, deepest secrets to anyone who has access to a computer. 

I can't remember the last time I told my entire church any of my deepest secrets. While I don't think a circle time of sharing is the answer, I just wonder if we, as a church, can "encourage one another and build each other up" (1 Thessalonians 5:11) if we don't share our lives with each other. How can I know how to pray for and encourage a fellow believer if I don't know what is going on in their life? And not the I've been having a hard week. I feel that every time I'm with my small group or any other group, most prayer requests are always the generic "hard week" or "lots of school work" or "just stressed." While these are not bad prayer requests, (hint: there are no bad prayer requests), I wish we could all be a little more transparent. I am also guilty of it as well. I also think if we are all more transparent, then the more we can build each other up. 

As I read my favorite blog, she has been doing a series called What I Want You to Know. While reading the different entries has been interesting, I have been even more interested in the comments of these different entries. To see how many other people have experienced the same issue is astounding to me. So many times I think we are afraid to share our stories because no one else understands. I have found that the more you share your story, the more people you find who "get it" If as a body of believers we were more open and less afraid, then I think that we would be better not only at building each other up and encouraging each other but at glorifying the Lord together. Which is the ultimate goal. 

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


and its been a while. This isn't going to be one of those "deep" posts. I just need somewhere even someone to talk to. I felt like such a quitter today. I had to withdraw from a math class today. It was ultimately the right decision because otherwise it would have been a D or an F. But I felt like a loser, a quitter that I was just giving up. And I learned today that I hate that feeling. I would much rather accomplish something, even a little thing, that feel like a quitter. There are times that I do quit - but for some reason this felt much bigger than other times. It may be because I had to quit something I consider myself to be good at. I like school and enjoy school, and up until today felt myself to be good at school. 

So I was just googling Bible Verses about failure. and this verse caught me. 
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you - 1 Peter 5:6-7
 I not only love the way its written, but most of what the verse says strikes me. If you take some of the words in the commas out - which in no way changes the meaning of the sentence it reads "humble yourselves that He may lift you up"  The Lord cannot lift me up - and therefore bring glory to Himself - without me humbling myself first. This kind of thinking it difficult - that you must do one thing first for another to happen. It takes kids a few years to get this down. The planning and thinking required to do something first that takes you away from your ultimate goal is complicated.
I'm also a huge fan of the "in due time" portion of this sentence. I'm a bit pushy in wanting things pretty quickly.

I realize this post has gotten a bit off from where things started. I think it all goes back to looking at this big picture. Even the other morning as I was driving to take my test I started listening to the Passion CD and was just reminded that in the big picture this test doesn't matter. This class doesn't even matter. Yes I want to do my best, and bring glory to the Lord, but this is not the end of the world.

I'm glad I got to talk this out with you. (whoever you may be).