dared to trust

Sunday night watching some FRIENDS. [Olympic commercial just came on. I cannot wait.]


I'm an intern at a pretty snazzy church - Cross Point. I work in the Children's ministry, which means the times I go to service can be pretty sporadic. Thankfully they have podcasts, so I can keep up, but tonight I actually got to go to the service.


The speaker tonight was Al Andrews. Al is doing some pretty great things through Improbable Philanthropy, but I loved his sermon tonight as well. Al talked about how God imagines some pretty crazy things that we wouldn't dream of. What really stuck out to me though was how God always chooses the least "right" person for a job. Needs someone to slay a giant - pick the tiny shepherd. Needs someone to talk to Pharoah about "letting people go" - pick the shy guy with the stutter. None of these make sense for logical earthly reasons.


Al  used Romans 4:17 in his sermon, which I've copied here in The Message, because I really liked the wording [I don't normally use the Message for everyday readings, just specific wording]

Abraham was first named "father" and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. 

My favorite part is "he dared to trust God to do what only God could do"


Isn't that why God picks the least probable people. When you pick the good speaker or the strongest man, it becomes about that person, not about the Lord. I think throughout history God has picked the most improbable people in order to give Himself all the glory. When you suck at something, it becomes a lot easier to give God glory for all He did. It's easier to see Him working in you when it only could have been done through Him.


This isn't to say its easier to stay humble. If the Lord is working in your life - things will probably begin to change for you. You could become more well known, impressive or even famous to some people. It's going to happen to most people. Obviously, David thought pretty highly of himself at times - even so much as to kill a guy to see his wife more.  It's always going to be a struggle to let the Lord use you for His glory, and nothing else.


It's also going to be difficult to let the Lord go there. During the sermon I was thinking about my dreams. My BIG dream - you know - the one that is probably super crazy and a little scary. And I don't think I know what mine is. I think I'm scared to ask God what it is. I think it will scare me to have that thought in my head of what I hope the Lord uses me for, what I feel my talents are for. But Abraham has to trust in the Lord - dare to trust - and his faithfulness to do what He has promised. Whatever big or scary or ridiculous at times. Pretty sure if God told Esther growing up that she would marry the King and then save her people, she wouldn't have ever left her house. That's scary knowing all the Lord wants to use you for.


While its probably going to be one of the hardest things we do, can we all agree to hold each other accountable and give the glory to the Lord, no matter where He takes us, and dare to trust in the Lord for where he places us?

#SheReadsTruth

In my blog meanderings, I noticed the #SheReadsTruth community. You should go to the website to read the whole story, but short version is a few women who wanted to be more intentional about getting into the Word (such a SCL saying) turned into thousands of women reading the Word together.

such a God-thing, as my "friends" Christy and Katie would say.

source

The Lord has been teaching me so much through this community.

First, this is the first time I've been more intentional about reading the Word. While it still may not happen every day, I'm learning alot more grace about the whole situation. I'm an incredibly legalistic person, thanks to my Type-A personality, and have to work to appreciate the grace and love of the Lord. I know that sounds silly - having to work to feel the love and grace of Christ, but its true. I have to fight my legalistic rule following tendencies. I used to do many things just to check off a list - go to church every Sunday, even serve and going on mission trips.

Now I see so much more about the relationship available. Since I've never been in a dating relationship, I liken this relationship to the one I have with my mom. I talk to my mom nearly every day. Things may be alright if I go one or two days without talking to her, but after a week I yearn for it. I've been asking the Lord to replicate this in my relationship with Him. Asking him to give me that yearning, that desire. He has begun to give me that, but has also shown me that the more I am with Him every day, whether through reading his Word or prayer, the more I will yearn for that. Every relationship begins with extreme excitement, but I have to continure spending time with a person to want to spend more.

I am so thankful for the obedience the #SheReadsTruth community has shown in creating this community after following the Lord's prompting. This community has really brought me closer to the Lord in a more meaningful way. It's not that camp high I remember so well. It's a slow fire, just keeps burning a little brighter and a little stronger each day.

I hope you enjoy the #SheReadsTruth community and reading the other moments women share.

[Bonus Points for you if you got the Christy Miller, Katie Weldon reference. We can be besties already].

The One with the Story.

I've seen things recently about writers writing. "You should do it everyday" "Writers always have homework." I've never considered myself a "writer" [but golly, I do like quotation marks]. I enjoy to write - I've always been a visual person, so writing my feelings and thoughts and reading others thoughts and opinions is how I absorb the world around me. I take it all in and process it through my words.

Recently though, I've felt like there are too many other people out there who can do this better. They majored in communications or journalism, took classes on different writing styles and how to find your voice. or just quite bluntly, they have a better story to tell. better ideas to share. just better.

but then, after some thinking, i realized I was right. they are better then me. but they aren't better than the LORD. The LORD has given me my story. Placed me in certain situations, with certain people, and has given me a love for writing. so why can't I tell the story the LORD has given me?

I recently read an e-book, Be Quiet and Say Something, by Jessi Connolly of Naptime Diaries [don't forget, I read mom blogs as if I'm a mom]. But in this litte book, she talks about how we all have influence. We all have people in our lives who are there to hear our story, and the same goes the opposite I think. I need to hear other people's story.

For an internship, I took the StrengthsFinder test. My top five strengths were: [be prepared to completely understand me as a person]

• Learner (I like to learn, duh)
• Belief (certain core values)
• Input (i archive random facts and knowledge)
• Intellectual (I like to sit and think)
• Context (look at the world and people in context)

It's the last one that I think has the most relevance to people's stories. I understand people so much better when I hear about who they are and where they come from. I get a sense for their passions, their mistakes, and what brought them here today. But I've also learned people aren't going to share their story (usually) without some sort of encouragment - usually in the form of another story. 

That's what I hope to start doing better. Share my story as I see it. as I live it. as the LORD writes it.  

Alana.


PS. After I wrote this, I was looking around at my blog [because its been a while, lets be honest] and noticed both in my top heading and my about me, I talk about a story. Glad I'm getting back to my roots.

Proverbs 31 single woman

. . I'm pretty sure that's one of the top 10 blog titles of all time. It's surely a topic I've been seeing all over the blog world that I read, apart from the ESPN SEC Football blog, which I don't think will ever broach this topic. But really, 4 or 5 different blogs I read are either discussing this themselves, or link up to something that will then be in reference to this. It has been very interesting to read these different women take this topic. One woman has been taking Proverbs 31 and other biblical passages extremely literally, focusing on a certain element each month, ranging from purity to gentleness to modesty. Here's has been a quite radical approach, but still has some very interesting points. Another blog I read has been doing a series on how women are following the Lord, and at least in my opinion, most are following the Lord in creating Etsy shops, ni reference to the "sashes to the merchants" verse in Proverbs. (This is not a commentary on how they are following the Lord, just that they are). I've also seen multiple posts across the internet on different takes on biblical manhood, and more interesting to me, womanhood (for what I hope are obvious reasons). 

Reading these as a single woman is extremely interesting. From married woman I hear alot about preparing yourself for your husband, and being the "right one" will let you find the right one. It's all wonderful advice, really, these are very important things. Much of what is done in Proverbs 31 is in reference to what women should do when being married, making some of it hard to accomplish while single. However, many things translate - women should always be working for the Lord, lifting the men in their lives up, and living pure and gentle lives. However, while many of these things are important, I think there is part of the conversation about being single being ignored. Something I heard in a sermon from David Platt (titled The Gospel and Singleness) that I think is being left out of the conversation. 

If you are single, its because the Lord wants you to be single (which I think people have probably heard). However, the Lord only wants the best for you and me, and therefore thinks that you will be your best single. Think about that - really think. You are better single than you would be with someone. I don't know about you, but that gets me pretty excited about being single. I can do more to glorify the Lord on this earth single - and wouldn't I want to be glorifying the Lord as much as possible? This leads me to a lot of thoughts I have about truly believing in the promises of the Lord and in His plans - and truly believing that those plans are the best. But another thought for another time. 

I love blogs

I love blogs. and blogging. I read way too many of varying themes (too many probably aimed at mothers, not 20 year old college students) and sometimes feel like a borderline stalker with a few of the blogs I read. But apart from the amazing blogs out there, I really have enjoyed the sense of not only togetherness that bloggers seem to feel, but the realness that permeates most of these blogs. It reminds me so much of what the body of Christ should look like. Women (and I'm sure men, I just don't read those) everyday are sharing some of their hardest struggles, deepest secrets to anyone who has access to a computer. 

I can't remember the last time I told my entire church any of my deepest secrets. While I don't think a circle time of sharing is the answer, I just wonder if we, as a church, can "encourage one another and build each other up" (1 Thessalonians 5:11) if we don't share our lives with each other. How can I know how to pray for and encourage a fellow believer if I don't know what is going on in their life? And not the I've been having a hard week. I feel that every time I'm with my small group or any other group, most prayer requests are always the generic "hard week" or "lots of school work" or "just stressed." While these are not bad prayer requests, (hint: there are no bad prayer requests), I wish we could all be a little more transparent. I am also guilty of it as well. I also think if we are all more transparent, then the more we can build each other up. 

As I read my favorite blog, she has been doing a series called What I Want You to Know. While reading the different entries has been interesting, I have been even more interested in the comments of these different entries. To see how many other people have experienced the same issue is astounding to me. So many times I think we are afraid to share our stories because no one else understands. I have found that the more you share your story, the more people you find who "get it" If as a body of believers we were more open and less afraid, then I think that we would be better not only at building each other up and encouraging each other but at glorifying the Lord together. Which is the ultimate goal. 

bah.

and its been a while. This isn't going to be one of those "deep" posts. I just need somewhere even someone to talk to. I felt like such a quitter today. I had to withdraw from a math class today. It was ultimately the right decision because otherwise it would have been a D or an F. But I felt like a loser, a quitter that I was just giving up. And I learned today that I hate that feeling. I would much rather accomplish something, even a little thing, that feel like a quitter. There are times that I do quit - but for some reason this felt much bigger than other times. It may be because I had to quit something I consider myself to be good at. I like school and enjoy school, and up until today felt myself to be good at school. 

So I was just googling Bible Verses about failure. and this verse caught me. 

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you - 1 Peter 5:6-7

 I not only love the way its written, but most of what the verse says strikes me. If you take some of the words in the commas out - which in no way changes the meaning of the sentence it reads "humble yourselves that He may lift you up"  The Lord cannot lift me up - and therefore bring glory to Himself - without me humbling myself first. This kind of thinking it difficult - that you must do one thing first for another to happen. It takes kids a few years to get this down. The planning and thinking required to do something first that takes you away from your ultimate goal is complicated.
I'm also a huge fan of the "in due time" portion of this sentence. I'm a bit pushy in wanting things pretty quickly.

I realize this post has gotten a bit off from where things started. I think it all goes back to looking at this big picture. Even the other morning as I was driving to take my test I started listening to the Passion CD and was just reminded that in the big picture this test doesn't matter. This class doesn't even matter. Yes I want to do my best, and bring glory to the Lord, but this is not the end of the world.

I'm glad I got to talk this out with you. (whoever you may be).

it's been awhile. . .

SO I realize its been a while since I've written. School ending caused this to go by the wayside, but I'm hoping during summer to step it up again. I just wanted to share that I have been "published" on another blog. It's probably one of my favorite blogs, so go on and check it all out. 


Rage Against the Minivan